Stories for Saab: Starting all over again

When I decided to revive this site a few months ago, I only had one thing in mind - I want to keep a space where I can (again) write my thoughts in. A place where people, especially you, can go back to, read, and reminisce with. This space used to be a haven where I wrote about beauty. Now, it is a space where I pour all my heart into. This will be about me and us, and all the stories I want to share -- to you.

You are special. You have always been special. You have that *extra* in you that makes you extraordinarily wonderful. It started on the moment you surprised us with your arrival and up until now, you and your story are always worth sharing to the world.

It was early 2018 when we found out you were sick. It was terrifying but your strength to endure and hold on was way more than the fear I had back then. With the help of generous hearts, we got you a fighting chance at life. Unfortunately, the one we thought was the answer led to a plethora of questions and uncertainties. It was actually an opening to a Pandora's box.

When we brought you home in 2020, we already knew something still has to be done. The symptoms were obvious but we had to have your tired, tiny body rest from all those 18 months of hospitalizations, surgeries, and procedures. While doing so, we were clinging to that littlest possibility that things would be better without interventions. It appeared impossible but we, especially I, prayed and hoped so hard. It was hard enough that I already made myself believe it was possible.

Unfortunately, the signs are slowly creeping back in. As much as we wanted to pend it, we had to step forward and do something. And just a few weeks ago, we were faced with the reality -- we have to start all over again. Yes, again - from where it all began in 2018, as if nothing happened in that 4 years of battle. We have to do it again, anak.

I am sorry that this has to happen...again. As much as I would want to explain to you how and why things are not going right, I just cannot. There are no words to explain how heartbreaking this is but we will fight. Like how we always do. 

Today, July 20, 2022, is the 4th anniversary of your liver transplant. It has been 4 years when a part of me was placed in you. It may not be as happy but we are still so blessed that we still get to celebrate it. That first one served a continuity of your life. Soon, the second one you'll share with your dad, is the answer to our prayers. We'll get your complete healing, anak. God will give it you and to us.

Hold on...tighter. And, be braver than ever. ♥

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